Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:47 pm Post subject: Jokes, jokes and more jokes
I am just finding that laughing at life is much better than being miserable - so - here's the first one - any more?
Quote:
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
Ta daaaaaaaa _________________ Annie
Handle every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away
Posted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 8:47 pm Post subject: In Memoriam
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Cokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started _________________ Annie
Handle every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away
Posted: Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:03 pm Post subject: You just gotta read this one!
A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out
anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I
set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe... We
sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother
agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload,
we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was
too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up
appeared that said:
" you got male!" _________________ Annie
Handle every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away
DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place some dog poo in the bin bags along with your old bank statements! _________________ Annie
Handle every situation like a dog, if you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away
Hahahaha, Annie, you know how OD stands for over draught...well, that on my statements means OH DEAR!!! CR stands for CHRISTMAS RETURNS and DR means DOG REFRESHMENTS. _________________ "...amitie, respect mutuel et amour..."
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8 Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. _________________ Guy, Ellie, Topaz, Catja and in memory Barley
Beauty from Structure
www.epagneulbreton.org.uk
You been told off again Guy _________________ Jan
Merlin, hips 9/9=18 and Ghillie, hips 8/9=17
Pull [n or v] An equal and opposite force perpetrated on both ends of a lead that results in the inevitable tripping and falling of the human involved!!
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